A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. ~Oscar Wilde

Friday, April 19, 2013

Weird Confession: I HATE//Loathe//Despise Chewing Gum

One of the weirder quirks I have is  my hatred of chewing gum. Seriously, I refuse to chew it at all, ever.  I cannot remember the last time I had a piece. It's been years. 


Here are the reasons:

It gives me nightmares. Not kidding. IF I chew a piece, I will certainly wake up in a cold sweat, from a dream where I have been digging a piece of the sticky nasty from my mouth. In my recurring (when I chew gum) nightmare, it gets stuck in my teeth. I put my whole hands in my mouth and pull it. And it keeps coming and coming and coming. The shit just will not go away. My mouth aches when I wake up. It's not a pleasant dream by any means, and I am willing to do anything to avoid it. For me, simply not chewing the stuff is the key. So I don't. 

It's disgusting. Have you ever thought about it? You're basically chewing your own spit over and over, like a cow chewing cud. I'm not a cow. And then, when you're done you have two options: spit it out or swallow it. This reminds me of something else you have two options with, hmmm. At least someone was getting pleasure from that....I digress. So you swallow it and then what? I know it doesn't really sit in your gut for seven years like my mom used to tell me but seriously, that shit ain't made to dissolve. Or you spit it out. It gets stuck, either to your fingers or to the side of the trash can. One of the last gums I chewed was stuck to the side of my car for months. And who hasn't been the victim of stepping in some one else's piece of gum and having to scrap that from the soles of your favorite shoes? Some people like to stick it to their glass in a restaurant and save it for later. Dear god, get another piece! And don't even start me on the gum poppers. Or accidentally touching the underside of a desk or movie seat with the stuff stuck to it.  Or the lines in amusement parks where people think it's a good plan to start a collection of random people's spit. OHMYGOD I'm gagging.  My point is the shit is gross.
It's a choking hazard. I mean, not for me. Well, I guess it could be....but I don't want my daughter anywhere near the nasty, sticky, nightmare inducing crap. I see it getting stuck in her hair at the very least.  I've heard of kids dying  from choking on the stuff. And while there are a host of other horrors out there to choke on, I just don't see the point in introducing this filthy one to my daughter. 

I understand people chew it to freshen their breath. I understand they chew it to quit smoking. And I understand that most people like the stuff. Have it. You won't catch me with a piece. Ever. I'll have a mint, thankyouverymuch!

Anyone else hate the stuff? 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Simple Ways to Green Your Life

The state of the world around me causes me quite a deal of concern. The reckless abandon with which we toss aside anything and everything makes me fear that there won't be anything left by the time my daughter & her generation inherit this world from us. We consume en masse and discard just as freely. Water bottles and soda cans because we must have a brand new container for each serving of beverage. That makes no sense logically, but still we must have it. I mean, who needs a new container for every beverage when you can wash the container, realistically. Not that I would wash a soda can, but you wash and reuse a tea pitcher, you know. 

My point is that we wast a LOT. A lot, a lot. 

And we're busy, so we do this for convenience. And it's understandable; it's easier, it's faster, it's cleaner in the short term. And it's not just beverages, but everything. Toy packages and shipping packages (have you ever ordered from office depot, like some pens, and received them in a box large enough to hold five boxes of files? I have. I mean what the what?) and all the random stuff we toss out daily at our house. We buy a box of crackers or cookies that have ten individual little packets in them. We aren't eating everything, but we like it packaged. And we're not even going to talk about the waste that goes into making that food we eat and the packaging and on and on. We usually have at least a bag of garbage a day. You get the idea...we waste a lot. We as in my family; we as in society as a whole. 

I can't do everything I would like to to green up my life. I don't have time for cloth diapers. I don't always recycle everything I could. Newspapers and card board often get neglected. I'm pretty good about soda cans and plastic bottles, but really I hate the process. Cleaning, saving, taking. We recycle all of the laundry detergent containers and kitty litter containers. 

Here's my quick and easy list:

Recycle what you can. Set up a system and make it easy on yourself. Forgive yourself if you don't recycle every single recyclable. Some is better than none, and maybe you can move towards it at some point down the road. Start small.

Make a compost heap. Instead of trashing all those left over peels and veggie scraps, put them out in a pile. They'll make great garden soil some day. 

Don't eat a lot of fast food. This is good for your waist, too. But you'll have less disposable meal containers to throw away. It's sort of a win-win.

Use rags for cleaning instead of paper towels//and cloth napkins for eating. I find this to actually be easier than using paper towels. I just have dark colored rags that I use only for cleaning, and the lighter ones are wash clothes. They last longer, and clean more. And cloth napkins are just so pretty and fun. And easy...i can wash them with anything. 

Get a water filter and use a water bottle. Or get a water bottle with a filter like the Bobble. You get a lot more use out of a bottle designed to last, obviously, than one designed to be thrown out. I find that bottled water doesn't really taste any better or different than filtered water. 

Get reusable grocery bags. Are you seeing a theme here? {Reuse} I keep one in my purse. I use it at the fruit stand and the grocery store. And I keep a larger one in my car for the bigger trips. If you do get plastic bags, save them and use them as liners for the bathroom trash cans. 

Make your clothes last. There seems to be a trend of buying clothes meant to last for only one season. Trendy items that aren't meant to last more than five or six wash cycles. Avoid those clothes. It's better on your budget to make them last anyways. Repair small holes and don't throw out pants because they popped a button. If you're tired of it, donate it. But don't buy them for single use...buy them to last. I find this really helps my budget and my sanity. It's so much easier to not have to shop for new clothes on the weekly. It may be more expensive up front but it pays off in the end. Also, dry on low heat and air dry when possible. It saves energy and helps the clothes wear longer.

These are just a few simple things that you can do, easily, without a lot of hassle. You don't have to make huge changes in your life style and you can really see your wallet get thicker too. Less material waste equates to less monetary waste as well!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Things I Heart

Spring/Flowers/the world coming to life around me
blueberry green tea with local honey
my gold sequined sanuks
letting go of the trash, both in my home and in my life
helping this guy get a forever home
(a quick story: on friday morning my bff said someone had contacted her about finding a Boston Terrier a home. We were complaining about people being asses and thinking animals are disposable. I thought of someone who may want him, and he was indeed wanted. The guy was picked up by the guy and now has a real forever home where he will be cherished for his life's duration. and my heart swells with happiness that i could help...)
rare moments of quiet when this guy squishes on me
cloth napkins
bubble blowing dance parties/there is something so peaceful about blowing a bubble and watching it form and then become and then float and then become less and less until it vanishes
just being

Monday, April 15, 2013

Finding My Happy Place

Lately, I've been on a mission. I'm looking for happiness, or rather my happy place. The place inside me where I can go, a calm place that I can retreat to and recenter myself when I'm all out of whack. Right now, I'm reading Buddhism for Mothers. It's really a great read, a great way to seek peace INSIDE yourself, and for once, it's a book geared towards taking care of the mother, and not the child. Or rather, not just the child. It's about finding calmness, exploring your motives and letting go, especially of the guilt. Taking care of your own needs, as a mother, allows you to better care for your family. More cheerfully, more wholly.  I've been seeking a way to control my anger and resentment in certain situations, and although this is something that does not happen over night, it is something attainable, reachable, foreseeable. I want to be more present, more in tune with my own needs, my husband's needs, and my child's needs. I don't want to harbor resentment for the menial chores. I don't want to focus on the guilt of rash actions, but learn to forgive and move forward. This book is helping me be a better mother, a better person, already.

Moving forward, being present, being intentional. Not dwelling on the past. Peaceful. Calm. Slow to anger. I don't want my emotions to control me, and I don't want to live forever in guilt for actions that I can no longer control. You cannot go backwards, only forwards. But also, you can live for the moments to come, you must live for the moments that ARE, the present moments. It's about being accountable in this moment and letting going of it when it is past. It's about losing the attachments to the moments, but gaining control over yourself in those moments. I'm learning. I'm growing. And I like this place that I'm in. I feel more aware when I'm with my daughter, more willing to put down the ipad or the phone and look away from the television and to her face. I feel stronger. And I also feel weaker. I know I have a long way to go to reaching a functioning level of this calmness I so seek. 

It's a road I've been on for a while. I have been practicing yoga since before I was pregnant. It's been reflective and informative, but also sporadic. And this book is teaching me that that's okay. It's about seeking and practicing when you can. The world is your medicine, said the Buddha  Yes, indeed. Take it and learn. Grow. 

Each distraction, each annoyance, I'm learning to see it as an opportunity to grow. Instead of succumbing to the annoyance, to the petty emotions, I'm acknowledging it and choosing to not let it control me. I find moments throughout my day to release tension and to reflect. To empty my mind and be present. 

Right now, I'm still searching for ways to get into the moments when I'm the most annoyed because honestly, letting go is NOT easy. It's hard. And I'm far from perfect and I'm very easily annoyed. But I hope that I'm able to quit beating myself up in the moments that I allow it to take over, to move forward, to learn from each experience. That's all any of us can hope for, right?

This is something I've sought for a very long time. I'm not all there yet, and I'm not referring to myself as a Buddhist, but...I'm enjoying this philosophy and this outlook on life and self. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

My Favorite Beauty Products Lately

Since I had the kiddo, I've been looking for things to simplify my routine and still stay well maintained. I like my skin hydrated, my hair shiny, my lips not chapped. I don't want a lot. And, I've been making a push to use more natural products since my pregnancy. I realized at some point that you put over 200 chemicals on your body every day, and I thought it was time to cut back. Sometimes, you look up from life and realize you're just going with the flow. You're grabbing products from the shelves at Target and getting by. And when you look up, you realize you don't have to go with the flow, that Mother Nature has been providing wonderful products for you to use all this time, if you just know where to look. 

My number one product these days (totally not natural, by the way. If you know of something better, that is, let me know.) is Carmex. I use it religiously to keep my lips soft and smooth. I was addicted to Eos lip balms, because they're pretty and taste good, but this windy weather calls for bigger guns. And I seem to be having a weird reaction to the Eos lately. Like it makes my lips worse. No bueno. 

I discovered Argan Oil. (I read about it while pregnant. I've used Morrocan hair oil which is made from it. And then I was on The Glow and rediscovered it here.)Oh good gracious, you can use this for EVERY thing. I put it in my hair, on my stretch marks (which are FADING!) and on my nails. It is mixed with my daily moisturizer/sunscreen, too. Super skin! It's also replaced the "It's a Ten" product I was using as a leave in conditioner and detangler. I think it works better than the product it's replacing. My bleached hair has never been this shiny. And it gets the rats out of my daughter's hair and I know I'm not putting chemicals on her. Plus, her hair is super shiny too. Since she isn't patient enough for me to condition her hair, this is great.

Speaking of oils, I use Tea Tree Oil for my dry scalp. My scalp is ruined when I start bleaching my hair, and I get this massive patch of dermatitis. The tea tree oil gets sprinkled in my normal shampoo and voila, my dry itchy scalp is much improved. I also mix a few drops with my face scrub once or twice a week and my skin stays super clear.

I use a sugar scrub that I make myself, also. It is wonderful for the dermatitis on my arms and it keeps my legs from getting ashy. It's made with sugar, extra virgin olive oil, cinnamon, tea tree oil and argan oil. (these oils are so multi-functional. it really makes things simple when you can use the same two things for so many beauty needs.)

The more natural products I use, the better I feel. And the less products I use in general simplifies my routine and helps me get out the door faster. I seldom wear make-up these days, so I like my skin to be clear and clean. I keep my eyebrows tweezed and my hair cut and bleached, and that's about it for maintenance. I just don't have time for a complex routine. I take long enough to shower as it is. It needs to go fast, be simple, and be effective. I've found these products (can you call oils products?? and home made sugar scrub? idk). 

Note: Tea Tree Oil is poisonous to cats, so it is very important to make sure to keep it closed, and stored safely away from your precious felines!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Dieting at Easter

I've spent all of this year dieting, so far. With minor bouts of cake induced happiness from my birthday. And some a whole bag of Valentine's Day chocolate truffles. Now, it's Easter. The last candy-riddled holiday for a little while. You can't get fat from fire works, can you? So...here are the only things going through my mind. I really cannot think of anything further than depriving myself of my my toddler's ass loads of chocolate. 


You've desperately avoided buying Easter candy because you know your child will not eat it.

Your husband, he cannot be swayed from these chocolate, gummy, sugar-coated purchases.

You're dieting. And you're doing well. You will not be swayed to consume these goods. 

Here are the thoughts that swirl around:

I'm hungry.

Ohmahgawd I wanna eat that chocolate.

Just one piece. But that will mean ten and you know it, Heather, you know it.

Don't touch the chocolate.

No, not even a gummy bear. Go eat a vitamin, bitch. There's your gummy.

Have another cup of green tea. 

Oh, that's satisfying. 


Go ride the bike. Do yoga. Meditate about the not-eating. Don't eat that candy.

Oh, can I lick the candy off my daughter's face? What harm would that do? It's not much....

Have some more tea.

Play the Sims.

I wish I could just have random sex right here on the couch; that would fix my craving. Wait, cannot do that in front of the two year old. Go eat a chocolate egg. No, don't. Just deprive yourself. You can do it. You can't have anything. 

God, I'm hungry. For chocolate. 

Please don't make me unwrap that chocolate for you. Take it to your daddy.... Shit. I know you're two but you're basically dangling crack in front of an addict, little lady.

Internal sigh.

Welcome to my life. This is just Monday after, too. How will I be by Friday? Maybe like a wide eyed chocolate craving zombie. Yeah. I'm gonna lose my mind.