Worst Cat Parent EVER

Lately, I've been having horrendous problems with my little orange Stu-guy. He is unhappy, unsatisfied and forever searching for .... something. I thought, for months, he was in search of more food. And I wondered how could a cat who gets fed ten cans of fancy feast, with three different kinds of crunchies always available, be THIS hungry all the time? 

Yesterday, I took the day off. I overslept and I knew I would get to work and want a do-over. You can't have a do-over so I just stayed home. So I made it part of my day's mission to figure out what to do to make Stuart happy.

And you know what?

It was easy. He wanted attention. I brushed him and played with him and he was happy. He went and ate his favorite crunchies under the side board after our play session and then went to sleep somewhere. He was laying in wait in the evening, hunkered down under the coffee table, so we played some more. And again, he was happy.

And my daughter thought the whole playing with him thing was pretty rad too. She giggled and squealed and "look at him playing!" She dangled toys intrusively close to him and he loved that too. So what in the world is wrong with me? Why in the eff did I not think to PLAY with my cat? GAH, I feel AWFUL. 

I stole this cat to heal my broken heart, and for the past six months two years I have been ignoring his little needs. I know I had a baby and that was a bit of a culture shock to me, but what about him? I mean really. I felt about two inches high yesterday. I've been throwing food at him and wondering why that doesn't satisfy him. Well, duh, he doesn't want food in the first place. 

But at least I know now and can correct my erroneous behavior. I have a date with my orange guy today! 

Another Cat: Clarabelle

Since the weekend, we've had a guest visitor. She looks like a fluffy version of Moo so it's pretty funny and confusing. She eats like a ravenous beast. And I keep saying she because her face is just so pretty, she must be a girl. And she isn't aggressive to Moo and Opal, which also leads me to think she must be a girl. 

not the best picture, but you see the resemblance, right?

She still doesn't get too close to us, but she does eat in our presence now. I'm not really looking for another cat, but I will not NOT take care of her if she needs food and a warm bed. She is welcome to share my back porch with Moo and Opal. If she gets comfortable enough, we'll have her spayed and vetted. Because that's the kind of people we are. And if she's already pregnant, we'll find her kittens homes and get her spayed later. 

what a pretty face. what a hungry love.

She seems like a cat that someone had, as she isn't too leery of us humans, and will roll around like she wants to be petted. It makes me so sad that someone put her out. I don't understand how people can decide to have a pet and then discard it. That life is a life just like our own and deserves love and respect. While the last thing I need is another vet bill, the last thing my soul needs is to see a creature need us and us not give it what it needs. 

People, please think before you take in a pet. If you think you may not love it when the cute baby-ness wears off, don't get it to start with. Abandonment should not be an option.

We're calling her Clarabelle. I hope she finds herself happy with us, or finds her way back home. I hope that she just escaped and someone is looking fervently for her, but somehow I doubt that. 

Back To Cats

We're back to cats today. I came across this in my news feed this morning and I'm smitten like a kitten with this organization. It's called Paws with C.L.A.W.S. (Cats Lives Are Worth Saving) and there really couldn't be a cause nearer and dearer to my heart. I have 7 (SEVEN) cats {just call me the crazy cat lady, yo} and I just really think they're the BEST little creatures on the planet. Go check out what this organization is trying to do (read: save cats, help people afford cats, teach people how to care for cats, talking about the importance of spaying and neutering). 

Obviously, I have cats. I also know that I don't want need  litters upon litters of kittens because I couldn't afford to care for them all, nor could I find them all homes. And you wouldn't willingly bring a human life into this world knowing you couldn't care for it, so why would you bring ANY life into this world? Hence, go spay and neuter your pets. 

Speaking of spaying and neutering, go vote, PLEASE go vote for my cat, Sassy in the World Spay Day Pageant because she is awesome. (I'm deliberately withholding the photo so you will have to at least go to the page, and then you may as well vote for her. The prize is money donated in her name and a cool collar.)

And because no post is complete with some pictures, and I do have plenty of them because the cats are my babies as much as my child is, here is Stuart enjoying some milk from my cereal bowl. Ignore his runny eyes, he has ear problems and needs to go to the vet soon to have them checked out. He lived in the "wild" too long and his little ears need constant attention, and when they have problems, his eyes run. Poor kid. 

lick lick lick YUM!

the black blob is Otto, waiting on his share of the milk. 

Kitty Crack

Just call me the crazy cat lady this week. Seriously. My cats are cracking my shit up with their antics. They are fuzzy balls of hilarity. 

This morning, I went in the kitchen to make my coffee and found the Godfather laying on the kitty crack, and a little orange guy basically begging for a sniff (not pictured). It seems as though I may have left a kitchen drawer ajar, and being cats they took full advantage of my mistake. Now, was Otto the one who initially found the crack? Likely not. The bag looks to be the work of one Sassafras Jones, declawed cat extraordinaire, 7 tittied queen. But I did not see this. So. Either way, Otto took the booty. 

Spay and Neuter

Today was all about Stuart dressed up. If you missed that post you can see it here.

So, I'm sharing a cause near and dear to my heart. At the risk of sounding like Bob Barker, please spay and neuter your pets! Doesn't this kitty look like it wants to be spayed? She sure doesn't look like she wants to be an unwed single mother!! 

via

Cats in Clothes: Stuart

Stuart is a special little guy. He's really, really bad and he's really orange and he's really little for one of my boy cats (or cats in general). He begs constantly for food. Snuggles under the covers. And is very accommodating to my whims.

He was remarkably bad this weekend. Climbing on the cabinets, crying, trying to escape, etc. But he is just so damn sweet. He has the most yummy belly for kisses and the best personality as far as being subjected to clothes goes.  

He let me dress him in a sweater....

and he wore a giant bow

Stuff I Love

I'm a mushy animal lover. I prefer creatures to people 98% of the time. I cannot help it. Creatures don't judge and god knows they have every right to judge us. Consider what we do to them: kill them for food ( i have the least problem with this, actually), kill them because we don't want to share our world with them, kill them as trophies to hang on our walls, abandon them (if they're lucky they get left at a shelter or somewhere they can eat), we abuse them in every way possible. And yet, it's pretty rare that they kill us, torture us, abandon us, etc. in return. Truly rare, considering. I know it happens, a shark eat a surfer, a caged tiger revolts, a dog attacks. But considering the proximity we typically live in and the opportunities they have to retaliate, they don't do it too often. 

Okay, well, wherever THAT came from. Anyways, I love animals (and clearly wonder why they love us back) and so with THAT I'm going to dedicate this edition of Stuff I Love to them. 


First of all, this scarf. It has been all in my face, so I ordered one. Cats all over it? Of course it had my name all over it. I can't wait to wear it. It'll be far better than wearing cat hair all over myself to express my love for them...although I'll probably still wear that, too. 

via

And then this video. It's really happy but it brought me to tears. This dog Rufo lived in a shelter for 6 years before finding a home. And just the fact that someone believed in him enough for long enough to allow him to leave and experience love melted me into a big gushy puddle. It's really worth your six minutes, I promise. He gave six years to seeing this happy ending for himself, after all, so six minutes is pretty meager considering.

Cats Wearing Clothes

It's no secret, my favorite past time EVER has to do with torturing putting my cats in clothes. Last night, when the tiny human requested that Otto WEAR WEAR CAPE that's what we did. 

We put a cape on Otto. 

He loved  hated it. 

And figured out how to get it off himself...

The whole thing was hilarious to everyone but Otto. 

I'm pretty sure the other cats even got a chuckle out of it. 

I am certain they enjoyed seeing the cat who hands out ass beatings to them all get a little pay back.

He is such a gentle giant. 

And therefore SO much fun to put in clothes. 

Bahahahaha!

This Week In Review

This week has been far from the best of weeks. The kiddo turned two and then started puking in bed. She is only just better today from the fever and the best thing happened last night: she started coughing. I hope it isn't going to be one sickness on top of the other for us. 

So that sucked. Then, while the kiddo was still sick, Sassy had to have her mastectomy. That was lovely. The incision was larger than I anticipated but they did let us go ahead and bring her home that night instead of waiting until the next day. She had to stay confined, however, and it was so sad. She was high on pain meds and hissing and growling at the floor basically. Yesterday, she tried to get in our bed and missed the first time. We'll have the pathology back sometime next week when we get the stitches out, but for now, all seems good. She's sore, but she's an old lady who just had a mastectomy, so that's to be expected. 

Ol' Seven Tits

While I was on the way to pick up Sassy, I returned a phone call from my mom. Who informed me that the police had had to be called on my brother, again. He had taken too much of something, was acting a fool and hitting his wife. He was taken to jail, then taken to the hospital, where he refused the charcoal treatment. He was then knocked out, given the charcoal and put on a ventilator. He's awake again and says he knows he made a big mistake. Yeah, boy, that doesn't cover it. Big is not a big enough word for the mistake(s) you've made. I think there will be some jail time for this one. At least in jail, you don't get released for bad behavior like you evidently do in a rehab facility. 

Needless to say, Tuesday sucked a giant cock and Wednesday wasn't much better. But today, today is a new day and today is better. Way better. The kid is better (I think) and the cat is okay and the brother, well, he yet lives. 

a fire, as requested by the tiny human

There will be good t.v. tomorrow night: SPARTACUS! War of the Damned. I'm all frothy just thinking about it. Gross, right? But some of us live for the little things. 

squishy cat

Cheers to new days and brighter tomorrows!

Belly Rubs and Breast Exams

Sunday afternoon, my Sassy-Cat was in my lap for her usual post nap belly rub. As I mindlessly gushed her belly in the usual way, a largish hard spot stopped me in my tracks. My fingers explored her furry belly. Was it just a nipple? No, the others weren't that big. So I flipped her over. I thought it was a tick at first, but upon closer examination I realized it was a swollen nipple. With a lump. I made my husband check it out. We agreed it wasn't normal, but was perhaps a clogged milk duct or some other mammary infection. I made her an appointment for today. 

comfy, lady?

I drove home to get her, dreading putting her in the crate. I took the crate from the shelf in the garage, brought it inside and dusted it off. I lined it with a chenille blanket filled with sentimental kitty value and went and scooped my sleeping girl from her (my) spot where she was napping in the bed. Getting her in the crate has never been easier. She cried on the way, as per usual.

my girls

We arrived and while we were in the waiting area, my husband and I could barely contain our excitement over a dog with a pair of balls growing at her chin. I'm sure it wasn't funny, as it was likely a tumor, which is not funny, but the appearance was hilarious. 

Then it was our turn. And we received the sobering news that our first baby will need to have a mastectomy. My hopes of a clogged duct were shattered and the fear that I had been holding back came rushing to the surface. I barely got out of there before the hot tears started to stream down my face. (Our first cat, Merlin, succumbed on October 19, 2008 at 7 years old to a brain tumor. It was really hard and this brought it all back to the surface.) My first little girl will be having a mastectomy on Tuesday. We didn't want to do it before the big second birthday Friday, as we know our human daughter will want to have her grape (gray) kitty there to celebrate with her. 

Merlin. <3

We cancelled our weekend trip. There is no way on earth I will leave my girl for the weekend and then take her for surgery the day we get back. Hopefully, the tumor will be a benign little bitch that can be easily removed and recovered from. Kitty cancer can suck it. 

Christmas day cuddles

The moral of this story is to remind you to give your pets their daily belly rubs. It serves a dual purpose: love and affection & early detection. 
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Update:

On Saturday, February 2nd we took sassy to have her stitches out and found out that the tumor was indeed a malignant breast cancer. The vet feels confident he got all the cancer...so for now, she is in the clear. We just have to watch her for any further lumps and bumps or any strange activity. As of right now, I think she feels pretty great. She has been on TREAT PATROL lately. Looking for treats and destroying any bag that is left unsecured. She doesn't have front claws...this is a feat. 

Forgiven for the New Year

Yesterday, Buster crawled up on my face at nap time. For the first time in two and a half years, he noticed that I also exist in the bed. For the first time in two and a half years, he did not purposefully walk around me as though I was some sort of plague laying in his way.

he looks a little leery still, but who can blame him after what I did?

You see, somewhere around two and a half years ago, he was stretched out on my belly, sleeping peacefully. And he got kicked. He pretty much has not paid me much attention since then, not even to fake spray my leg while I'm watching television. It didn't help that I brought home a screaming baby 23 months ago, and it helped even less when that baby noticed his glorious tail and decided she needed to GRAB IT NOW!

Needless to say, Buster has been miffed at me. Stuart and Sassy thought I brought them home a fun new toy, and Sassy has taken to the baby like her own. 

Zaxby pees more often on random items to let me know she's around. Since the baby calls her Rat now, I let it slide. 

But Buster, the gloriously dumb fur-bag, has just hated on me like the obvious scum that I am. I mean, really? Who would do that? Get pregnant and then have the audacity to not leave the screaming thing at the pound? Crazy.

But the point of all this, is that we will be starting the New Year off on a new foot, a forgiven foot. If Buster forgiving me is any sort of insight into what this New Year will bring for us, it's going to be a good one!

Happy New Year, Everyone! 

Cat or Rat?

Our smallest cat, Zaxby, has been given a new name by our child. She likes to call her "Rat." I have no idea where this nickname came from, as no one else calls her that. In fact, if she were to pick up a random nickname for Zax from us, it would probably be The Pisser, or possibly the Snack, but with our luck, it would be pisser. I'm constantly cussing when I find random items peed upon, "that damn pisser pissed on my favorite ____." So my luck dictates that the nickname should be the damn pisser. I really do try to curb my enthusiastic swearing around my child, but sometimes....it just comes out. 

In any event, Zax has a new name. We all now affectionately call her Rat. Honey, please pet the rat. Where's the rat? Have you given treats to the rat today? I never knew I would be so cool with having a rat live in my house, especially one that pees on everything that isn't..well, just everything. She pees on it all. There's nothing like getting to work, all dressed after who knows how long, to discover that there's an odor and it's YOU. Great feeling. But this wasn't supposed to be a post about cat pee, although I could post plenty on the topic and still might. I just thought I'd share about my old cat with a new name. Rat. I can't wait until she starts naming her stuffed animals; this could be very entertaining.