A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. ~Oscar Wilde

Friday, April 19, 2013

Weird Confession: I HATE//Loathe//Despise Chewing Gum

One of the weirder quirks I have is  my hatred of chewing gum. Seriously, I refuse to chew it at all, ever.  I cannot remember the last time I had a piece. It's been years. 


Here are the reasons:

It gives me nightmares. Not kidding. IF I chew a piece, I will certainly wake up in a cold sweat, from a dream where I have been digging a piece of the sticky nasty from my mouth. In my recurring (when I chew gum) nightmare, it gets stuck in my teeth. I put my whole hands in my mouth and pull it. And it keeps coming and coming and coming. The shit just will not go away. My mouth aches when I wake up. It's not a pleasant dream by any means, and I am willing to do anything to avoid it. For me, simply not chewing the stuff is the key. So I don't. 

It's disgusting. Have you ever thought about it? You're basically chewing your own spit over and over, like a cow chewing cud. I'm not a cow. And then, when you're done you have two options: spit it out or swallow it. This reminds me of something else you have two options with, hmmm. At least someone was getting pleasure from that....I digress. So you swallow it and then what? I know it doesn't really sit in your gut for seven years like my mom used to tell me but seriously, that shit ain't made to dissolve. Or you spit it out. It gets stuck, either to your fingers or to the side of the trash can. One of the last gums I chewed was stuck to the side of my car for months. And who hasn't been the victim of stepping in some one else's piece of gum and having to scrap that from the soles of your favorite shoes? Some people like to stick it to their glass in a restaurant and save it for later. Dear god, get another piece! And don't even start me on the gum poppers. Or accidentally touching the underside of a desk or movie seat with the stuff stuck to it.  Or the lines in amusement parks where people think it's a good plan to start a collection of random people's spit. OHMYGOD I'm gagging.  My point is the shit is gross.
It's a choking hazard. I mean, not for me. Well, I guess it could be....but I don't want my daughter anywhere near the nasty, sticky, nightmare inducing crap. I see it getting stuck in her hair at the very least.  I've heard of kids dying  from choking on the stuff. And while there are a host of other horrors out there to choke on, I just don't see the point in introducing this filthy one to my daughter. 

I understand people chew it to freshen their breath. I understand they chew it to quit smoking. And I understand that most people like the stuff. Have it. You won't catch me with a piece. Ever. I'll have a mint, thankyouverymuch!

Anyone else hate the stuff? 

1 comment:

  1. I chew gum but my friend once ate so much she pooped out a wad of pink bubble gum. It was sorts funny.


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